


And I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be - Right in front of me

by laurel_raatko_lance



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Pining, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 16:50:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19977346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurel_raatko_lance/pseuds/laurel_raatko_lance
Summary: Nyssa doesn’t mean to fall in love with Felicity, but things rarely work out as planned, and maybe that isn’t such a bad thing.





	And I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be - Right in front of me

**Author's Note:**

> This absolutely wasn’t going to be any longer than half a page, I don’t know what happened.

Nyssa learns of Oliver’s supposed death and tracks down Felicity and their child to offer her condolences. As a kindred soul, she understands perhaps better than anyone what it is like to lose a soulmate, she had to bury and mourn not one, but two people she held dear to her heart. The grief nearly unbearable, sometimes she still cries herself to sleep or wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, not that she would ever voluntarily admit that to anyone else.

She would offer Felicity a shoulder to cry on, if she should need it, which she was almost certain of, she just hoped she would not decline her offer. She knows they aren’t friends exactly, but she always did like the quirky blonde, and she could not let her endure the same pain she went through without at least making an attempt to help her.

* * * 

As soon as she lays eyes on Mia she falls in love a little, she doesn’t get to be around children or babies very often, _and this one is particularly cute,_ she thinks as the infant regards her with wide blue eyes. Without much thought she twists her face into a comical grimace in an attempt to entertain her audience. The child giggles, and in this moment Nyssa decides she wants to stay, if only temporarily, it’s not like she has anywhere better to be.

When she looks up, she finds Felicity watching them in astonishment. She tells her Mia doesn’t usually take well to strangers, and a sense of pride and accomplishment washes over her as she reaches out to tickle the infant’s belly. Shrieks of laughter erupt from the tiny creature and pudgy little fingers try to push her hand away with force. Nyssa had a feeling they would get along marvellously.

* * * 

Felicity lets Nyssa use her guest room for a few days, but days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months. Before she even realised what was happening, Nyssa had become a valued member of their little family. The brunette tucks Mia into bed and sings her to sleep when Felicity is too busy to do it one night, and from that point on Mia stubbornly refuses to sleep unless it is Nyssa who puts her to bed. To her surprise, she finds, she does not mind one bit.

* * * 

Nyssa and Felicity spend long evenings together on the porch, sipping on some orange juice or nibbling on store-bought cookies occasionally. The light breeze ruffling their hair on warm summer evenings a pleasant sensation, neither too warm, nor too cold, and in the distance, they can hear the quiet chirping of some grasshoppers as they watch the sunset.

They talk about anything and everything on these evenings. Sometimes they have deep meaningful conversations about lost loves. Sometimes they stay up long into the night, discussing their favourite books and authors. And sometimes, they would just sit together, enjoying the comfortable silence that fell between them.

One of those late evenings, Felicity suggests she read Harry Potter next and a look of hurt briefly flashes in Nyssa’s eyes, then twists into an expression of bittersweet nostalgia. Laurel made made her read it years ago, in an attempt to integrate her into society as the ‘normal person’ she claims to be. Why that included reading a children’s book, she did not know. The only thing it ever brought her was understanding a few of Thea’s references relating to the topic. Though, she supposes, that was at least something.

* * * 

A few months later, she finds a black and yellow sweater on her bed, _“Hufflepuff?”_ she wonders out loud, looking at the badger with the bold yellow letters printed underneath. It’s a far cry from something she would wear in public, but as much as she pretends not to like it, she finds she really does, so she reluctantly starts wearing it to bed, tuning out Felicity’s victorious grin everytime she does.

* * * 

The first time Felicity hugs her, Nyssa is hesitant to hug back, but when she finally does, she closes her eyes in bliss and nuzzles the other woman's neck. Felicity laughs, but Nyssa thinks she might just spontaneously combust any second now, it has been a while since she was on the receiving end of a friendly touch. Her ears burn bright red in embarrassment over her own body’s traitorous reactions.

* * * 

She’s been living in the Smoak household for over a year now, and with every passing day her imminent departure seems less and less likely to ever happen, her temporary visit not so temporary after all. Felicity jokingly refers to her as an _honorary Smoak_ at this point and Nyssa thinks she could get used to that title. She’s always wondered, what it would be like to belong to a family, a _real_ family, not like the father that abused her or the sister that abandoned her, but people that love and cherish her for who she is, people that support her no matter what, that kind of family. She used to think that her one chance at having that, died with Laurel a long time ago. She’s beginning to think she might just be able to have one after all, and she’s not even sure exactly how it happened.

* * * 

One night, when Felicity tries to climb into her bed, she spots a lump moving under her blanket, her mind immediately supplies her with; _Mia,_ but the lump is decidedly too large to be a toddler. She lifts the blanket and finds Nyssa curled up in a fetal position, clutching a pillow tightly to her chest, she’s shivering violently. Concern rises somewhere deep in the pit of Felicity’s stomach, _something isn’t right,_ it’s a warm night, and Nyssa doesn’t get cold that easily. She gently brushes a few damp strands of hair out of Nyssa’s face and presses her hands flat against her clammy forehead. Nyssa swats her hand away, “Stop that.” she groans miserably.

“Why are you in my bed if you won’t let me help you?”

“I don’t know” she whines incoherently into her pillow. The truth is, Nyssa does know, she doesn’t want to admit it to herself, but something about Felicity’s scent made her feel safe enough to close her eyes and fall asleep even in the incapacitated state she’s currently in. It’s ridiculous, if there were any threats, the hacker certainly would not be able to protect them, she was no safer here than in the confines of her own room. _and yet..._

Felicity huffs, “Stay here.” she dashes over to the adjourning bathroom.

 _“Hmpf.”_ When Nyssa hears Felicity coming back, she lifts her head and forces her heavy eyelids open with difficulty. The blonde is carrying a wet washcloth, striding toward the bed with purpose.

When the icy cloth is draped across her forehead, it takes Nyssa every bit of her training not to moan in pleasure at the cold sensation of the moist washcloth against hot, feverish flesh and the sheer gentleness Felicity uses to dab her face with it, accidentally brushing her fingers agains her skin a few times.

“I told you to stop.” Nyssa barks out weakly for the second time tonight.

“And I’m telling you to stop complaining.” Felicity shushes her, “Do you want some water? Or food? I could make you some soup, if you want any? Mind you, not a fresh soup, like you would probably make, but I’m not completely helpless with instant soup mixes.”

Nyssa tells her yes, if just to end her friend’s incessant chattering. She isn’t really hungry, but she can’t take Felicity fawning over her for a even a second longer, it’s making her feel things she would rather keep denying at this point.

Normally, she wouldn’t mind, would think of the babbling as cute even. She always liked hearing Felicity impulsively speak whatever comes to her mind, she had to deal with so many people who would keep important information to themselves or worse, blatantly lie to her face. Despite all reason, she still felt betrayed by Sara for not even so much as leaving her a goodbye note, she still wishes her beloved would have at least made an effort to talk to her, to explain her reasons, before she left her in the middle of the night. Felicity’s unwavering honesty, combined with her urge to tell Nyssa about her every thought is very refreshing, she thinks, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply, a wave of drowsiness washing over her.

* * * 

A few weeks later, they run into each other before going to bed, they are both on their way to the bathroom. Nyssa intends to say something chivalrous and let Felicity use it first, but then she notices the messy hair and finds she cannot help herself. She reaches out and runs her fingers through blonde locks, gently smoothing down her hair and tucking one strand behind Felicity’s ear. Her friend looks at her curiously and when Nyssa realises what she’s doing, she drops her hand as if she’s just burned her fingers on hot iron. She clears her throat and turns around, striding down the hallway to her room. She closes the door and leans her back against it. Suppressing the urge to scream, she lets herself slide down to the hardboard floor and drops her head into her hands.

There is no denying it, not anymore. She’s completely, utterly and irrevocably in love with Felicity Smoak, MIT, class of ‘o9. She curses, _leave it to her to fall in love with Oliver Queen’s widow,_ she had a particular talent for choosing the most inconvenient women to be romantically interested it. First, the girl she’d found dying on a beach on an abandoned island, who laughed straight into her father’s face at the prospect of her own death, it was a miracle Sara even lived to see the end of the day. Then, her beloved’s own sister. She was overridden with guilt at the mere thought of it for _so long,_ it was only after Sara visited her in her cell that she fully came to terms with her own feelings, and as if them being sisters wasn’t bad enough, Laurel died before she even had the chance confess her love.

And now, Felicity Smoak, a woman who still mourns her husband’s death. On top of that, she's fairly certain Felicity is straight, she’d never once given her any indication to think otherwise, any and all subtle attempts at flirting in the past were shot down immediately. She wondered sometimes, if the blonde really didn’t understand her meaning, or if she made the deliberate choice to overlook it. She wondered the same thing about Laurel sometimes too, she had a feeling the attorney shared her feelings, _her doubts,_ but she would never know for sure.

One thing these three women had in common? They were all romantically involved with Oliver Queen at one point in their lives. It was infuriating. _Why did everything always have to lead back to to him?_ She considered him her friend, agains all odds, they got along reasonably well after everything they went through, nothing helps you bond quite like surviving a plane crash together. She just wishes the archer would play a less prominent role in her life sometimes, even now that he was gone, it still felt like he was everywhere, all around them. She sees him when she looks into Mia’s eyes, she’s compared to him everytime she cooks something and she’s the one who comforts his wife when she wakes up screaming for him.

Nyssa longs for Felicity to reciprocate her feelings, but she knows it is hopeless, the blonde sees her as nothing more than a friend. She thought about just walking up to the oblivious woman and kissing her senseless, but she doesn’t want to risk ruining one of the best things she’s ever had by making assumptions and taking chances. She can’t. Their friendship means too much to her.

* * * 

A few months later.

“Are you _sure_ you can handle her on your own?” Felicity implores, probably for the twentieth time that day.

“Yes.” Nyssa nudges her toward the front door “Now go. You're going to be late.”

Felicity’s eyes widen briefly “I forgot to put on lipstick!”

Nyssa huffs in irritation when the blonde rushes back to the bathroom. She finds her standing in front of the mirror with a crimson coloured lipstick in her hand. Nyssa watches as Felicity smacks her lips a few times, before taking her finger into her mouth and forming an O shape around it with her lips. Arousal flashes through Nyssa’s core when Felicity sucks down on her own index finger and slowly pulls it back out to prevent any lipstick from getting on her teeth later.

“How do I look?”

Nyssa swallows hard. She steps in front of her and brings up her hand up to Felicity’s face, she gently rubs her thumb over the corner of her bottom lip, removing a tiny smudge of excess lipstick in the process, “There.” she smiles softly, standing just little too close to be considered appropriate for mere friends.

“You look beautiful.” Nyssa replies sincerely, longingly gazing at her for a moment too long. She has to force herself to look away. None of this is for her. She would not be be the one who gets to kiss those crimson lips tonight, she thinks bitterly.

* * * 

When Felicity returns later that evening, Nyssa is sitting on the sofa in the living room “How did your date go?” she inquires without looking up from her novel.

“Awful.” Felicity whines.

That piqued her interest, “How so?” she puts her book aside and waits for Felicity to recount the events of her clearly disastrous evening.

“I don’t want to think about it anymore.” Nyssa has to hide her disappointment, and Felicity lets herself drop onto empty space next to her, sighing deeply, she places her glasses on the coffee table in front of them, lays her head in Nyssa’s lap and rubs at her tired eyes.

Nyssa appears startled, this is not something they usually do, and she doesn’t quite know how she’s supposed to react to it. She gingerly brings her hands to the other woman’s head and starts threading her fingers through her golden hair.

Felicity moans sinfully and Nyssa has to shut her eyes, the familiar ache between her legs returning, she can feel herself getting wetter with each sound of pleasure the blonde lets out, _does she not realise the effect she has on her?_

* * * 

A few weeks later, they meet each other in the hallway again, Nyssa had just finished reading Mia’s bedtime story, carefully closing the door as to not wake her up again, she doesn’t notice Felicity walking toward her. She’s surprised when she spins around and promptly collides with a warm body, and a single thought runs through Nyssa’s mind; Her arms fit _perfectly_ around the other woman’s waist, and it feels so utterly _right_ , she can’t take it anymore. She lunges forward and kisses her friend, pouring her whole heart into it. Felicity stands stock still, her eyes wide open in shock, she doesn’t move a muscle under Nyssa’s touch and worst of all, she isn’t reciprocating.

Dejected, Nyssa is about to step away and apologise, promise it would never happen again, when she feels soft lips starting to move against her own and warm hands coming to rest on her elbows, and instead of pulling away, she leans back in with renewed vigour.

When Felicity ends the kiss, she rests her forehead against Nyssa’s, breathing hard and smiling like a fool, “That was.. _wow.”_

Nyssa takes that as a sign of encouragement and takes a step forward, shoving Felicity against her bedroom door with a soft thud and pressing herself against the blonde intimately. She closes her dark eyes and starts kissing Felicity’s jaw, moving her lips downward, trailing hot open mouthed kisses down her neck all the way to her collarbone. She groans when she feels Felicity’s nipples harden against her own through the thin fabrics of their shirts and short nails digging into her shoulder blades. Her centre throbbing pleasantly, she surges forward again, desperate for another kiss, nudging Felicity’s legs apart at the same time. She shifts one of her own between them, and in an attempt relieve the gentle ache between her legs, she thrusts her hips forward, rubbing her clothed entrance against the blonde's thigh. She slowly drags her hand down Felicity's body, slipping it into her friend's pyjama pants, which she is promptly rewarded for with a pleasurable moan.

Nyssa does not sleep in her own bed that night.

* * * 

When Mia turns four years old, Nyssa starts training her to defend herself. Felicity is sceptical at first, she watches them from the porch to make sure Mia doesn’t hurt herself, but when she sees how much fun they’re having, she grows a little fonder of Nyssa’s plan, _perhaps it isn’t such a terrible idea after all._

* * * 

They are happy together, happier than Nyssa ever allowed herself to be. She’s afraid it will end in tragedy again, but she can’t quite find it in herself to care right now, she will take whatever she can get, however long it lasts, and _god,_ she hopes with all her heart that it will last forever.

* * * 

A Year later, she proposes to Felicity. After her last disastrous wedding she never thought she would even consider marriage, but to her surprise, the thought of being married to Felicity fills her with nothing but joy. Particularly so because it is a choice she made _for herself,_ nobody is forcing her into this and nobody is expecting her to produce any heirs, she has the freedom to do whatever she pleases, and she loves it. _Nyssa Smoak,_ she likes the sound of that.

* * * 

On a late Sunday night, Felicity walks into the living room in search of her family, _Mia should really be in bed by now,_ she thinks. She finds them cuddled up on the couch together, both asleep, Nyssa’s arm draped protectively around Mia, the movie they were watching still running on mute in the background.

She didn’t have the heart to wake them, so she switches off the television and covers them with a thin blanked. She feels a surge of affection coursing through her at the precious sight in front of her and she smiles fondly, _it’s absolutely adorable._ She simply can’t resist, she gets out her phone and snaps a picture of them.

* * * 

Their wedding day arrives on a cold October morning, it rains the entire day, but Nyssa does not care, not with Felicity looking at her like she personally hung the moon and all the stars in the sky. They exchange their vows in a small intimate ceremony, little Mia as their ring bearer, something Felicity is quite sceptical about, it’s a nice idea, sure, _in theory,_ but Mia tends to lose things quickly. However, her fiancée insists that she absolutely must be the one to do it. Felicity doesn’t argue with that, and she doesn’t ask why, she just tells her that if Mia ends up losing the wedding rings, that’s on Nyssa. Thankfully, Mia doesn’t lose them and everything works out fine.

* * * 

One day the doorbell rings. Glancing over at the digital alarm clock on her nightstand Felicity wonders who would possibly want to visit them at 11:45 p.m. on a Monday evening, but she gets the door anyway, letting Nyssa sleep after the long day she’s had. What she finds on the other side of the door is not at all what she expected, shock courses through her veins and she feels numb, angry and relieved all at the same time. She doesn’t know what to focus on first when she sees Oliver’s tentative smile, and for a brief moment, she feels as though he was never really gone in the first place. _“What happened to you?”_ it came out as barely more than a shaky whisper, her voice filled with emotion, she could almost feel the world spinning around her.

He smiles sadly and explains the events of the last few years to her. They all thought the Ninth Circle had killed him, Emiko told them he was dead before she disappeared into the night. Felicity refused to believe her at first, she had to be lying, but the dried blood they found on the pavement at the empty warehouse told a different story. And when he didn’t return, even months later, she had to admit to herself, that he wasn’t coming back, the love of her life was _gone,_ and her child would never meet their father.

With a broken heart, she tried to move on, the baby needed her, she couldn’t dwell on the past when her child depended on her to live in the present. Time went on, and Diggle helped her find a suitable home for the both of them.

And that’s when Nyssa showed up. Against all odds, the assassin became her light in the darkness, and when it became clear that the woman would _stay,_ Felicity was relieved, a heavy weight dropping off her shoulders. She wasn’t alone anymore. She was unbelievably glad to have someone she could talk to now, someone who could understand the pain she’s going through, and just like that, her burden became a little lighter. Nyssa was _always_ there when she needed her, she never lied to her, never kept secrets from her that had the potential to destroy their relationship.

Suddenly, rage and hurt bubbles up inside her, _how dare he do this to her again?_ she really thought he’d learned, she thought he knew better after everything that’s happened, but there he was, repeating the same stupid mistake all over again.

As good as his intentions were, _you don’t do that to the people you love. You don’t just let them believe you are dead without ever notifying them that you are, indeed, still very much alive._ She couldn’t believe it when he told her that he went undercover and teamed up with Emiko to take out the Ninth Circle from within, it was an admirable goal, but she did _not_ appreciate him sacrificing their future for it. It was a long and tiresome process, he tells her, but the mission is complete now. The Ninth Circle is gone, his family no longer in danger and his sister, a redeemed hero.

Over the years, the siblings learned to rely on each other, she became his best friend, and he hers. They had much more in common than just their father, he regrets not having known her when they were younger. She was everything their father expected him to be, everything he wished _he didn’t have to be._ He wonders what his life would have been like if Robert gave her a chance. Would he ever have stepped foot onto the gambit? Would it have been her instead? Or would they both have? One tiny decision and the Green Arrow might never have existed at all.

He was incredibly glad he got to know Emiko, the _real_ her. But at the same time, the knowledge, that in exchange, he never even met his own child destroyed him. However, it had to be done, he had to keep his family safe, no matter the cost, the Ninth Circle would have never left Felicity and their child alone, he couldn’t risk that, and he couldn’t give up on his sister. It was the only choice he could see. 

Often, he contemplated contacting Felicity, telling her about everything and just going back home to them. But he didn’t. They went into hiding for a reason, and he was here for that very same reason. He only hoped Felicity could forgive him one day, and see things from his perspective.

She’s shouting now, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks, he sees nothing but pain on her beautiful face. Her hair is shorter now, she looks older, not by much, but the years apart make it seem all the more pronounced, he wishes he could have been here to witness the gradual change, but he wasn’t, and there was nothing he could do to take it back. He could not change the past, no matter how much he might want to, what was done was done.

Hearing the sound of her voice _so bittersweet,_ he had trouble focusing on her actual words, he would have preferred her not to shout at him, but she had every right to, so he let her rant. It wasn’t the greeting he’d been hoping for, but she hadn’t slapped him yet, that has to count for something.

Her voice quiets down, she still doesn’t sound too happy, but her words have less bite than before. Just as he thinks, perhaps he could salvage their relationship, he sees something that crushes all his hopes in one fell swoop, _he hadn’t considered this variable before._ Nothing could have prepared him for the gut wrenching feeling as he realises the barely dressed woman standing in the doorway is clearly more than just a guest here. He can’t imagine Nyssa would run around half naked in just anyone’s house, she isn’t wearing any pants, or at least that’s what he _thinks,_ she might be wearing shorts under the large MIT shirt, but he isn’t about to ask.

It must be poetic justice, he thinks. He takes what was rightfully supposed to belong to her and therefor she takes what was his. He did not see that coming. But if that was what Felicity chose, then so it would have to be.

Nyssa was paralysed with fear, she was on the brink of losing everything she held dear to Oliver Queen once again. She never imagined he would come back, not after six years. After all, _how many times could a man possibly come back from the dead?_

Felicity looks torn when she spots her, the blonde swallows the lump in her throat, and she knows, she’s going to have to hurt one of them beyond repair. Deep down, she’s already made her choice, but she can’t bring herself to say it out loud just yet, after all, she loved him once, she still does, in a way, but he went too far this time, he’s been gone for too long.

In all this time she’s lived with Nyssa, she’s learned to read her expressions and gestures like an open book, this one however, she’s not sure she has ever seen such despair in her wife’s eyes. She witnessed plenty of her nightmares. Grief. Heartache. She’s seen it all, but this, this was new. The pure terror on Nyssa’s face breaks her heart, she knows what she must be thinking, what she must be imagining in this moment, and Felicity decides that she would do anything in her power to never have to see this expression on her lovely face again.

“Oliver...” her voice breaks “I’m sorry. I’m _so_ sorry, but you can’t expect me to keep choosing you, when you aren’t willing to do the same for me. You can’t come back to me after _six years_ of radio silence and expect everything to go back to the way it was before, things changed, _I changed._ You just weren’t here for it. And believe me, I wanted you to be, I really, _really_ did. For years I prayed you would come back, that you would just walk through this door like nothing happened, but _it’s too late now.”_

She glances over at Nyssa. Oliver follows her gaze. The brunette looks a lot less terrified now than she did a minute ago, but her speech still didn’t appear to relieve all her worries, so she starts again. Shifting her gaze back to Oliver, she tries a clearer approach “I’m not going to leave my wife for you Oliver. No matter how much I might have loved you once, _she was there for us when you were not.”_ the corner of Nyssa’s mouth twitches and her lips curl upward in a tiny smile. _Much better,_ Felicity thinks.

 _Wife,_ he mulls the word over for a moment, he had realised they were _something_ to each other, but he never thought they actually got married. “I understand. And I’m sorry too.” he had hoped she would choose him, but he gets it.

“We can still be friends. And you can see Mia whenever you want, she’s your daughter, and I want her to know her father.”

He smiles sadly “Yeah. I would like that. And thank you, that’s all I could ask for.”

* * * 

“Why?” Nyssa asks her wife a little later. She’s sitting on their bed, hugging her knees to her chest.

Felicity looks confused for a second, “Why what?”

“Why would you pick me?” the brunette clarifies “When you could have had him?”

“Because _I love you.”_ Felicity says with sincerity, she moves closer to the brunette and gently cups her jaw, Nyssa’s eyes fall shut when a thumb tenderly starts stroking her cheek. She brings up her own hand and closes it around Felicity’s, turning her head, she kisses the palm of her wife’s hand lovingly. Felicity smiles at her and rests her head against Nyssa’s shoulder.

_“I love you too.”_


End file.
